Remember when your mum said how special you were all those long years ago? Well, she lied. The truth is, you are just another one of the millions of drones of the internet age. No one loves you, your friends just keep you around out of pity, and a block of wood has more personality than you. But fear not, we have the solution that will transform your life in ways that you could not possibly fathom. Introducing, the Ring Clock!
We won’t bore you with inconsequential details like its minimalistic yet elegant design, energy saving features, ultrathin LED and battery, or even its amazing wireless charging capability. Instead, we want you to imagine walking around with the Ring Clock on your finger. You will literally have time at the tip of your fingertips! Your friends will adore you. Women, men or both (hey, we’re not judging) will be inexplicably attracted to you. Your boss will give you a raise and promotion. You will also feel larger where it counts.
So don’t think. Just buy the Ring Clock, and be the person you mother has always secretly wanted.